Making the decision on where a loved one should spend the next stage of their life can be emotional, especially for those family members closest to them. Feelings can become hurt, and conflicting personal opinions on the best senior living choices for a loved one can cause arguments. Adult children can find themselves engaged in an argument as to the best course of action for their parent’s senior living situation.

Family fights regarding the right senior living options for their elders are typically categorized into one of four areas:

Required Care: Your brother may believe that your mom is doing well at home. Your sister may be confident that an assisted living facility is the right option. And your parents most likely have their own ideas about what they would like to do. With such an emotionally charged issue, the decision is generally not cut and dry. Fights and disagreements are common but are not inevitable. A professional evaluation by a neutral third party may solve the dilemma. A personal physician can offer thoughts regarding the senior’s ability to live on their own, and an independent senior care professional can conduct an assessment during a scheduled visit to their facility. Soliciting professional opinions from a source outside the family can help to avoid fights.
Necessary Involvement: In many families, elder care often falls to one of the siblings, whether the oldest or the one who lives closest geographically. While willing to help, the individual bearing the brunt of the caregiving may experience helplessness, stress, or isolation if they don’t have the support of their siblings. One family member shouldering all of the responsibility is more likely to be affected emotionally and physically – and may be the first to suggest senior living options to their family. While it is understood that not everyone can help physically, all family members should offer other types of assistance, including financial. Family members who are not local should defer to those who spend the majority of time with the senior.
Parental Consent: When the individual in question is reluctant to consider a move to assisted living or another form of senior care, arguments between family members may result. Some members of the family may agree with their parent, while others may think that their parent is not being reasonable. The parent can find themselves in the middle of a brewing family battle. One solution may be to tour local assisted living facilities or interview professional home care workers as a family (but without your parent present in order to avoid an emotional situation). Hopefully, all of the family can agree and approach their parent with a united front. If the family can’t come to a decision together, find an impartial third party to help.
Financial Responsibility: Care for seniors requires a financial obligation, and the method of payment and budget can be a source of arguments for family members. Many are concerned about spending too much of their parent’s money. Everyone approaches the issue with their own expectation of what is required and what is financially practical. If the parent doesn’t have the financial capability to pay for assisted living on their own, the rest of the family may decide to split the cost between them. However, money is at the core of many family arguments, especially when emotions are also running high. When looking into assisted living or memory care, be sure to schedule time with the staff to discuss if your parent is eligible for any programs or financial help.

At A Banyan Residence, we understand that your parent’s move into assisted living can be challenging in many ways. We are here to discuss the options available to you, and to answer any questions and concerns. Call our facility in The Villages today for more information.