There is a common stereotype of the “grumpy old man”, but is it true? It is important to determine if a loved one is battling anger, as anger and stress can seriously harm their health. Helping your senior to manage anger is a key to their living a happy and fulfilled life.
Anger is a real emotion, and there is absolutely nothing illegitimate about expressing anger occasionally. Controlled anger conveys powerful emotion about something you feel is unjust, upsetting, or just plain wrong. However, in the older population, too much anger may indicate a decline in health. (Source: Psychology and Aging) Prolonged episodes of anger may increase cardiovascular conditions, diabetes, hypertension, and high blood pressure. Anger can also severely impact your immune system. Anger is also the cause of many mental health issues, leading to stress and anxiety, and affecting clear thinking and concentration.
Are You Too Angry?
Here is an easy self-assessment to check just how deeply anger is impacting your life. When you get angry:
- Does your heartbeat speed up?
- Do you clench your fists tightly?
- Does your breathing begin to speed up or get heavier?
- Do you start sweating or feeling a rise in temperature?
- Does your voice tremble when you try to speak?
- Do you feel stress and tension throughout your entire body?
- Do you feel anxiety physically churning in your stomach?
If the answer is ‘yes’ for 2 or more of those queries, anger may be a concern that should be addressed. If your elderly loved one is exhibiting anger more frequently, there are ways to cope.
Helping Your Loved One Manage Anger
Managing anger starts in the mind. An honest evaluation of which thoughts follow through to anger can help to avoid angry incidents and situations.
- Causes of Anger: 67% of individuals who struggled with anger report that their anger issues arise from an inability to adequately manage stress and anxiety.
- Preconceptions: Your preconceived notions can result in frustration and anger, especially when things don’t go as planned.
- Compulsive Behavior: Compulsive behavior can promote negative thoughts, and force out good and positive thoughts.
It is probably too much to expect that anger to be eliminated completely. It would be wonderful to be perpetually happy, but that’s not realistic. Getting angry is a common experience for everyone, and only turns into an issue when it is not managed properly. Keep these easy recommendations in mind – or help your loved one to learn these habits – to keep health as optimal as possible.
- Remember that person in front of you is special to you. Being the winner of the argument in front of you can fuel anger and can cost the relationship.
- “Forgive and forget” is often quoted but rarely practiced. Those who practice these virtues often live in more peace and contentment.
- Being cognizant of your own actions and learning about stress-relieving practices that work will add more happiness every day.
- Stress-relieving pastimes – like yoga or meditation – can help greatly.
- Exercise for seniors can minimize quick reactions to enhance concentration and focus.
We understand it is difficult to control anger in a day or two. It takes consistent practice and a lot of honesty. Being present in the moment with loved ones, not allowing emotions to get out of control, and considering the consequences of your outburst can assist to manage anger.
A Banyan Residence provides professional and compassionate assisted living and memory care in The Villages.
