The holidays are here, and making sure that your loved one in assisted living or memory care knows they are not forgotten is especially important. Visiting a senior family member who lives in a memory care residence can be complicated especially when cognitive issues are causing unpredictable behavior. These visits, while sometimes difficult, are a necessary part of caring for someone with dementia. This article was written to help families to prepare for and enjoy their memory care visits, offering tangible advice for those times when the condition is damaging your relationship.
Recommendations For Visiting a Memory Care Patient
1: Work to Understand Their Experience
When a loved one in any stage of dementia begins acting aggressively, it’s typically associated with their medical condition. Dementia can warp people’s mood, behavior and perception of reality, sometimes resulting in fear or anger. These behaviors should never be considered personal, instead recognized as symptoms of their declining brain function. By understanding their reactions as symptoms of the disease, you can prepare your mindset before a visit to react with compassion, not offense. It’s also helpful to learn more about the general progression of dementia, so you can gain valuable insight into their experiences and reality.
2: Prepare for a Range of Emotion and Behavior
Preparing oneself mentally before your memory care visit can make all the difference when it comes to your interactions with your loved one. Understand that some days will be better than others. On a good day, your family member may be happy and talkative; but on a hard day, they might not even recognize you and so become confused. Before you visit, prepare for both possibilities and have a flexible response preplanned.
3: Create a Relaxing and Comforting Routine
Developing a routine can provide a calm oasis in the often-unfamiliar world of a dementia patient. Start with a familiar friendly greeting and create a consistent routine for your visits. Whether taking a walk, enjoying a photo album or preparing a favorite snack, familiar routines can minimize anxiety and offer a basis for shared experience. If you notice that your loved one responds positively to a specific word, action, or activity, be sure to incorporate it when you are visiting.
4: Communicate with Patience and Grace
Effective communication with a loved one with dementia is less about what is said, and more about the patience you convey. Approach each conversation with a calm tone, using concise and simple language. If they can’t come up with the right words or become frustrated, offer a reassuring smile rather than trying to correct them. Non-verbal cues like a comforting hand on their shoulder can communicate love when words fail.
5: Manage Difficult Moments with Calm
It’s essential to remain calm if the situation becomes difficult to navigate, as arguing can make things worse for your loved one. Try to gently shift to a more soothing activity or topic of conversation. If your loved one becomes agitated, acknowledge their feelings and give them space if they need it. The staff members at the memory care residence are valuable partners in these situations, as they can apply the needed experience and strategies to address your loved one’s needs and behaviors. Remember, the goal is always to provide your loved one safety and support, even if you are just visiting.
A Banyan Residence is an assisted living and memory care facility located in The Villages, Florida. Call us today to schedule a tour to determine if our residence is right for your loved one facing dementia. Our professional team is trained and ready to help you and your family to maintain healthy relationships while walking through this difficult time.
